


Cherished

by ImperiusRex



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Oral Sex, Sex, Smut, Sweet, i blame mel, spock just needs to be held and loved and pike is just the man to do that, thank you for this hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 07:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20903552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperiusRex/pseuds/ImperiusRex
Summary: Spock does not understand the emotions he has been struggling with for the last few weeks and so he finally decides to go to Captain Pike for help.





	Cherished

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tendocandy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tendocandy/gifts).

> Tendocandy Fan Art link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904053
> 
> This art is NSFW and so beautiful and thank you so much to Tendocandy for drawing this and also for the beta!

The stars.

Pike figured that many poets had a hundred thousand words for the beauty of the stars and they would compare them to a person’s eyes or some other romantic gesture but to him the stars were something more… they were more than freedom, more than the adventure he craved as a young cadet, more than he could describe. He wasn’t a poet, he didn’t have words that could explain the stars but he liked to look at them every chance he got, it helped remind him of just how lucky he was to be among them, and something he never took for granted was his crew and ship, because he frankly didn’t know what he would do without them.

His whole life was tied to the stars.

As Christopher Pike muses his late night thoughts in his quarters, Number One was making her rounds having just left her own quarters which were situated next door to the Captains while Science Officers Spock's was located next to hers. The soft sounds of the ship went on their way, crew members on the late shift worked away. The Enterprise was a hub of activity, never a dull moment on the ship, whether it was on the bridge or down in engineering. Spock nods to Una as he passes her, and she yawns as she nods back, her personal tablet in her hand already checking the duties she needed to preside over for the rest of the night as Pike took his sleep shift. Number One moves on, the sound of her boots disappearing around the next bend, and Spock moves determinedly through the corridors of the steel hull that protected them from the unforgiving, harsh nature of Space. He feels knots in the pit of his belly; they had sat there for weeks now, sometimes they fluttered when Spock looked at the Captain- it was a strange feeling and not one he was used to at all. He had never experienced it before, and try as he might to ignore these . . . emotions, they simply would not stay put behind the carefully constructed walls he had built since he was a small child. 

Spock arrives at his Captain’s door and proceeds to knock.

“Enter.”

The knot in his belly grows a bit tighter at the sound of Pike’s deep rumbling voice, something he often enjoyed hearing on the bridge. He had grown accustomed to keeping his ears open for the first hint of the man’s deep commanding voice every time he stepped out of his own quarters; yet another piece to the problem that was puzzling the Science Officer. Now Spock stepped past the threshold of the door as it whooshed open, then closed behind him. He places his hands behind his back, one hand clasping his other wrist as he stands at attention, in his blue science officer’s Starfleet issued uniform. They were new, and everyone looked quite different in them, but most especially the Captain. When Spock saw him for the first time a few days ago in the gold uniform, he had experienced a slight misstep as he walked onto the bridge towards his station. Quickly correcting himself, he had spent the rest of the time trying not to stare at Pike, though he stole glances underneath his lashes when he thought no one was watching him. 

It was really then that the issue had become more intense for him. Before, he simply had chalked it up to his hero worship of Captain Pike after all, Ever since he first came aboard the Enterprise, he had been full of barely restrained excitement, for a Vulcan which for a human excitement is measured in quite a different way, at being placed under the command of one of the most respected names in Starfleet.

*****

He had spent the first few weeks overcompensating his work, and trying to be an exemplary crew member, and when he made his first major mistake, he had felt his entire heart break. His face betrayed no emotions when he stood before Pike’s desk to face his punishment for ignoring protocol. He recalls just how Pike looked at him, long and hard, one hand on over his mouth as cool blue eyes measured him. He was used to being measured against the worth of others, against the worth of other Vulcan children, and he was used to being found lacking. Yet… this time, it was different. there were no words to describe his failures, no words reprimanding his nature, no  _ “it’s too bad you are half human, otherwise you might have succeeded” _ , no  _ “we must I supposed take into consideration your… nature and should have known you would not be able to complete this task adequately”. _ No, none of that, no judgmental words from his father or Vulcan teachers, no harsher words from his peers. Instead the Captain had sat him down. At his direction, Spock sat stiffly at the edge of his seat, face blank as he waited.

“Spock. I’m not sure how it is on Vulcan.” Here it comes, Spock had thought, here comes the cutting words that would brand themselves into his mind for the next few years, words of disappointment and dissatisfaction. “But here on the Enterprise, we have a three strike system. Usually, first strike means a warning, second disciplinary, and third is relocation. However I can see that you were just trying to help, and while I think that reconfiguring the entire ship’s system to Vulcan so that you could issue commands faster is good for you, we do have to think about poor me, who can’t understand a lick of Vulcan if it whacked me on the head.”

Spock turned his gaze from just over the captain’s shoulder to finally look him straight in the eyes 

“Sir?”

“How about we just let this one slide and say we learned our lesson huh?” Pike had a teasing smile, and the wrinkles around his eyes crinkled a bit as he otherwise stayed professional. “You’re a  **good** man Spock. A good officer. Just… tone down the overzealousness a bit and relax. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.”

At the words and smile, Spock was startled, just enough for a Vulcan but far too calm for a human, and it takes him a moment to swallow the invisible lump in his throat before he croaks out “Yes Captain.”

*****

Now he stands before his Captain again, and he remembers that soft smile and wishes to see it again, but he doesn’t know  **WHY** . Smiles were not conducive to a ship running smoothly. Amanda, his mother, smiled often, and Spock liked to see it. His sister smiled from time to time, though it was often sad, but once in a while, Michael would forget her sadness and give him a smile that made her brown eyes seem to glow with happiness. His father never smiled. It was said once that Sarek smiled on his wedding day, but Spock didn’t quite believe that. So why is it so important for Spock to see Chris’s smile now? Why did he choose to walk past his own rooms to retire? Emotions… they were utterly confusing.

“Spock?”

Spock startles and turns his gaze from the floor to Chris’s face, where his Captain looks as though he had spoken his name before. His eyes linger a moment as he presses his lips into a tight line, just as tight as those ever tiresome knots deep in his gut. Pike was a handsome man, for a human. He was not Vulcan and so could not be held to Vulcan standards, mainly because Spock thought that Pike had already exceeded Vulcan standards for beauty. He had dark brown hair flecked with grey, not much now but more than just a few months ago and Spock concluded that it was logical that Captain Pike would get grayer as the months wore on, sooner rather than later. Pike had strong jawline and for a moment Spock’s fingers itched to run along them, but he instead squeezes his hand tighter around his wrist as if to stop himself. He takes a breath as his eyes moves down Pike’s body, lingering slightly on his crotch, the bright gold of his uniform before returning to his face. Spock finally speaks, “I have a problem, and since this problem involves you, it is only logical that I come to you for its resolution.”

Well that didn’t take long, Pike thought, amused. It had only been five minutes of Spock standing there staring at him, and Pike thought it might go on a while longer after he called Spock’s name twice. His brow furrows at the words his science officer spoke. He hoped everything was alright; it had taken quite an adjustment period for Spock to finally find his place on the ship, which wasn’t unusual for his crew. Pike had had numerous people under his command for years, many who came and went, and each one had taken their time to find where they belonged. However he was a bit more concerned for his Vulcan since he had never had one on his ship’s crew before.

Yes, he had begun to think of Spock as his Vulcan and it caused unsettling thoughts in Pike’s mind. However, he squashed those when he saw Spock looking at him with a shine in his eyes. He had seen that before with other members, new ones, who thought he was something special when he was not, he was only a man, and so Pike was very careful never to led Spock on in any way. So at this moment, the furthest thing from his thoughts was his own feelings for Spock, and instead he was busy checking over his Vulcan for any signs of distress. He found none. He studies Spock a moment then speaks in an easy tone.

“If there is anything I can do to help, then you only have to ask.”

Spock shakes his head and then quickly turns, pacing, and Chris can see that one hand is clutching the other wrist so tightly that for a moment Chris wonders if Spock intended to break his own arm. Sharp steps, sharp turns, and Pike sees that Spock is agitated enough that whatever this was, it was something serious. Pike decides to make things easier. His sleeping quarters where not the best place for a meeting, but he goes to sit on his bed, set against the wall by his own effort so that he could sleep while lying on his right side, watching the stars zoom by. Seated now, he tries to relax his stance; making himself more relaxed might help Spock, he thinks. After another moment of pacing, Spock stops right before him. He is a tall man, regal and slender, and he towers over Pike with a strange expression on his face. Pike is not used to Vulcan expressions; often, he found himself staring at Spock trying to figure them out as the man bent over his station working. He thought he had them figured out but he had never seen this one before, confusion, apprehension, and… something else.

The light of a close passing star coming from behind Pike shines on the Vulcan and his dark brown eyes seem to lighten to a warm honey gold. They shone in the starlight and for once Pike understands why the poets try so hard to capture the feeling of the stars. He gulps a bit, his mouth gone dry. Spock finally speaks.

“I have these… emotions. They- they are. I cannot explain it, not in human tongues, nor in Vulcan, or Andorian, or even Klingon. I cannot explain it and I cannot see how to… process such a thing… a thing which I have never felt before.”

Pike feels a bit helpless- how was he going to help a Vulcan with emotional issues? He didn’t even know they had complexes about their feelings, for the few other Vulcans he had known about, and on occasion, met, had never shown any conflict about not being as emotional as humans. They were who they were and they would not feel anything that they did not wish to feel. Logic is the surety they clung to and Pike had thought it was what Spock clung to as well, but he could see that wasn’t right.

“How can I help you?”

A heartbeat passes.

“I don’t know.” Spock voice is soft but his hands were now at rest by his sides as if he does not know what to do with them either.

“How can you explain it to me?”

“I cannot… it’s difficult.”

“Then how can you show me? I can’t help you Spock, unless I know what it is you need help with.” Pike wants to help- the thought of his Vulcan being in distress makes his jaw clench.

It takes another heartbeat before Spock speaks “If you would permit me to perform a Vulcan mind meld... then I could… I could show you.”

“What is that?”

“It’s something my father’s people can do; we can connect our minds and speak or understand each other through our connection. You could see what it is I can’t find in me to say. If you permitted me…”

“Yes.”

Spock is a bit taken aback, as though he thought he would have to do a bit more convincing, but Pike didn’t need more. If this is what Spock needed, then he would give it to him. It was the least he could do.

Pike ignores the strangeness of this all. He had been in much stranger scraps, but the quiet stillness of his quarters, the way Spock’s eyes shone in the gloom as though they belonged to some nocturnal creature, and the slow licking of his pink lips had Pike feeling like everything was some fever dream he would awaken from in a moment. Instead, he finds it very real when Spock’s hand reach towards his face, and Pike’s jewel bright eyes flicker towards them for an instant before returning to Spock’s eyes, his own lips slightly parted as he shudders at the first contact of Spock’s touch. He gasps as he hears Spock speak.

“My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.” 

And then there it is -a connection. It hits Pike like a punch, and he gasps a bit, eyes closing and turning his face slightly into Spock’s hand. The cascade of emotions swirls around in his mind as the whispered words ring in his head. It takes Pike a moment, then two, to realize just what it was that had Spock so confused and what it was that had plagued him so. However, the mind meld works both ways and Spock could see into Pike’s thoughts as well.

A small smile curves Pike’s lips and he opens his eyes to look up at the Vulcan who was watching him with a fierce alertness. Pike spoke in a soft feathery tone, “You love me?”

Spock’s eyes widened, and he drops his hand, breaking the connection, his fists clenched at his sides as his gaze darted from here to there, unable to rest as the Vulcan processed the words.

Pike mourns the loss of connection and he places his own hands on his knees, ducking his head a moment to give Spock some space, only looking up again when Spock spoke.

“This… love. It’s not the love I have for my family, for my mother, or sister… or even my father.”

“There are different forms of love, Spock.” Pike speaks softly, still, as if he does not wish to break the hush that had followed the mind meld, or to startle the Vulcan. Spock rarely spoke of his family. Pike knew it was hard, there was something that had happened between them; he never spoke of his father, his sister was spoken of in fleet passing moments, Spock had mentioned he had one, and they were childhood playmates. Only his mother was given more than a one word or a single sentence response, and so Pike had concluded that Spock was closest to her. He can’t believe that he was Spock’s first crush. It was… endearing. However, Pike would never push or try to press an advantage, he was, after all, his commanding officer, and therein lay the tragedy- while Pike could feel for his Vulcan he knew that he could not have him.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why can’t you have me?”

“I thought Vulcan can’t read thoughts that way.”

“Your expressions is the same one you had one when I came across those thoughts in your mind. You feel this… love for me too?”

The tone sounded like a statement, but came as a question, and Pike would not lie, “I do… however, I won’t act on it.”

“Why?”

“You love me, but have you ever truly been in love before, Spock? Not the familial love, not the brotherly love, not the love one has for their parents and community, but the kind of love that happens between two souls? Two people who find each other among the stars?”

Spock’s stiffness tells him his answer; the man hadn’t even known he was in love until Pike put it into words.

“That’s why. You chose me as your first, and the truth is I want to be your first too badly to ever speak to you in the way you need. The calm understanding that love is a thing that happens, and to give you the tools you need to go forth and put your heart in someone else’s hands, to trust them not to break it and have the tools you need to mend it if they do- you came to me for advice that I feel comprised in giving because of my feelings for you.”

“And would you?” Spock's question is voiced low, and not what Pike expected. Here he was talking about how he felt wrong for Spock, and it so threw him for a loop that at his confused expression, Spock clarified, “Would you break my heart, Captain?”

“Never.”

Spock nods as if something had been decided, and then he finally moves to sit against Pike’s right side, The ship continued its predetermined flight through the cosmos, yet both men paid no mind to the comet that passed beyond the window behind them. They were sitting far too close, their faces inches apart, and Pike likes the feel of Spock’s hand on top of his where it rested on his knee.

“Then I want more of this, I want to know it, and I want to know it with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“It is only logical, Captain. that the one I feel love for is the one I would reach out to.” Spock’s eyes shine in that strange Vulcan way that always reminded Pike of an Earth cat’s eyes at night.

Pike’s heart hits a rapid beat, and before he closes the distance between their lips, he speaks. 

“In bed, call me Chris.”

Then it’s done and their lips meet, firm pressure, soft skin, wet tongues as they try to find their way. Spock is hesitant, as if he is unsure, and Pike wonders if he is Spock’s first kiss as well. No, surely he was not Spock’s first time in everything? Even sex? He was unsure, but the way that Spock moves reminds Pike of his own first attempts at kissing, and so he pulls back.

“Have you ever-“

Spock’s head shakes slightly.

“A kiss once with a women from the academy but nothing more.” Then Spock returns, pressing his lips to Pike’s, and this time his hands are in Pike’s hair, running his long fingers through it Pike has his hands on Spock’s torso, slipping down to where his shirt parts, and he goes under and up, feeling the flesh beneath the blue shirt. Pike breaks free once more and only mutters “clothes.” Spock follows his lead, and they undress before the other. Spock is faster, his shirt up and over his head and thrown to the floor, shoving down his pants and undergarments to tangle in his boots and ankles as he stood, hissing a curse in Vulcan as he attempts to pull his boots off and not fall over. Finally, he is naked before the Captain, whom had spent all that time just watching him undress with his hands still in the process of taking off his shirt. Spock’s body was well toned, and Chris could not help but stare, the double ridges on Spock’s cock were the only outwardly difference that Pike could see. Spock huffs impatiently, his cheeks a greenish tint, and Pike realizes that Spock is blushing. However , his Vulcan officer, who was usually noted for his composure that he had apparently thrown out the air lock this night, reached for Pike’s boots and pulled them off one at a time while Pike scrambled to remove his shirt. Pike falls back into bed as his boots are yanked off and tossed, two dull thuds.

Pants went next, as the slide off his hips by aided by Spock’s grip, Pike barely lucky enough to have undone his fastenings in time. Then Spock is over him on the bed, and Pike grins up at his serious expression, flashing a teasing smile, and he pulls Spock down for another kiss by the back of his neck. Once that’s done, he pushes himself up and in the process pushes Spock back until he once again stands in the same position they were in just a few moments ago, this time mostly naked. Pike removes the last of his clothing, kicking it away as Spock stands bare before him, and he places one hand on the Vulcan’s hip, pulling him closer as he takes Spock’s member in his other hand for the first time. He touches the ridges and trails his fingers all the way down, liking the way Spock stiffens for him, his back rigid and eyes wide. Pike didn’t know just how they did things on Vulcan, but he wanted this to be good for Spock. Pike presses a kiss to it before taking it into his mouth, and Spock’s gasp makes him grin as much as he is able around Spock before getting serious and begins to move. He tasted Spock as the Vulcan’s hands clutched his hair like a lifeline, in and out in slow measured movements while Pike’s own erection was unattended, but he wasn’t in a rush;he would rather forgo his own pleasure if it meant Spock was taken care of. His tongue wickedly works its way as he bobs his head back and forth.

The sensation of Pike’s hot mouth on him is very stimulating, and Spock attempts to rationalize his feelings instead of simply thrusting his hips, but it’s no use- he can’t think clearly, and the only thing he wants to think about is how good this feels, to have Pike’s hair under his fingers, Pike’s mouth around his cock, Pike’s hands now gripping his buttocks and Spock’s moans low. In the quiet room, it sounds too loud. Spock loves this, loves him but he still can’t put it into words, he wants to show him. So it takes more willpower than he thought it would to pull himself free, a trail of saliva connecting them for a moment until it breaks, and Spock breathes harshly as he tips up Pike’s head to kiss him, tasting himself, his precum on Pike’s lips.

Clambering onto Pike’s lap, Spock likes how strong Pike’s arms feel wrapped around him as they hug him tight. He stops a moment and places his forehead to Pike’s, their noses touching. Pike seems to understand, that this is all overwhelming, and they had barely gotten started. 

“We can go slow, it doesn’t have to be now.” He rubs Spock’s back. Spock shakes his head. 

“I want it now, but I am terrified at the intensity.” He whispers. He never had to deal with such passion before. Chris understands and kisses Spock’s shoulder as Spock wraps his arms around Pike’s neck, pressing his chest against the older man’s own.

One of Pike’s hands moves over to a small concealed drawer next to the bed and from it, a small tube of lube. Spock rests his head on Pike’s shoulder, tucked against Pike’s neck as he watches the captain coat his fingers, awkwardly jostling the Vulcan on his lap a moment until it was done and the bottle was returned. Then he closes his eyes, burrowing his head closer into Pike’s shoulder as the cool sensation of pike’s lubricated finger circles Spock’s entrance. One finger slowly pushes in, meeting a tight resistance and Spock hisses in Pike’s ear. 

“Hurts?” Pike asks, worried.

“Not much… just not used to this.”

“If you ever want to stop I can-“

“Keep going. Please.”

Pike nods and presses another kiss to Spock’s shoulder before inserting another finger, slowly preparing the Vulcan for what would come. Sliding in and out, he slowly widened him as he felt Spock’s member press hard against his abdomen, and soon Spock was rocking gently, seeking friction as Pike removed his fingers and then lined up his cock with Spock’s hole. He glances nervously at the Vulcan who only watches him with those strange eyes that shone in the dark. He pushes his cock in, slow, surely, deeply, and Spock bites his bottom lip, and Pike stops. He readjusts so that his feet are on the floor in a better position, flat and sturdy, then moves Spock so that the Vulcan’s legs are no longer tangled, and he sits more comfortably on Pike’s lap, the Captain’s cock still deep inside Spock. Chris paused, giving Spock a moment to adjust to the change.

The full feeling is difficult to process, not because it was painful- it had hurt a bit- but Pike’s sure hands and softness had made a difference in soothing Spock.

“Ready?” Pike breathes softly into Spock’s pointed ear, and Spock buries his face against Pikes body once more and nods, blushing again when he feels soft lips kiss his ear and oh that was something new too. It makes shivers run down Spock’s spine as the Captain’s lips tease his ear. He had never known how sensitive they could be. Then there is movement, as Pike pulls himself out a bit, then moves back in, pushing his cock deep within Spock’s ass. Spock’s breath hitches and he digs his nails into the Captain’s back as it happens again, harder this time, and soon there is a rhythm, while Spock’s own dick is caught between their bodies, his balls trapped as well, heavy with the feeling of his arousal as he is fucked by the Captain of the Enterprise. Deep moans from Spock intermingle with the harsh grunts from Pike as the two intertwine. Pike moves his hands to Spock’s hips from his back, and using his new leverage is able to lift Spock slightly, the Vulcan not overly heavy despite his height, and not as solidly built as Pike, so his slender form was easy enough for Pike to maneuver. Pike lifts him up and down, bouncing Spock on his cock, the exertion and the heat of their bodies resulting in a light sheen of sweat to coat Pike’s skin. Harsh breaths and hard fucking and suddenly Spock swears in Vulcan. Pike doesn’t know what he is saying but he winces slightly as Spock grips him too tight, forgetting his Vulcan strength but then Spock is babbling, yes babbling, and Pike realized that he must have hit Spock’s prostrate. He had been wondering if Vulcans even had one, and stroking that sensitive spot made Spock give into his lust, and now there was no more resistance between them. Spock kisses Pike in every place he can reach, his lips, his cheek, his neck suckling the skin there as his fingernails drag down the Captain’s back, leaving marks that Pike would be proud to bear. Pike ruts into Spock harder and harder, groaning every time he felt that hot tight body close around his cock. His balls felt heavy as continues and Spock is talking in English now so Pike can understand him.

“It’s too much.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No no nooo not that the other thing it’s too much… I can feel you inside me, but everywhere; in my mind, in my body, in my soul. It’s too  **much** .”

The love that Spock had shared with Pike earlier, that is what he meant and when Pike realizes this, he kisses his Vulcan hard and Spock returns the kiss.

“Take as much of me as you can bear, Spock, and no more.” A hard thrust. “I won’t ever ask you to take more-” A soft kiss on Spock’s neck. “-and I won’t ask more of you-” He rubs his face against Spock’s cheek, “-not unless you want me to have you-” He looks up, “-I will take you...” and presses his forehead to Spock’s once more “. . . any part of you that you are willing to give.”

Pike’s vow, solemn and sure, causes tears to form in Spock’s eyes, “Chris.” Is all he says before Spock makes a whining noise as Pike continues to thrust inside of him, this time hitting his sweet spot every time, and in no time at all, Spock shudders and throws his head back, moaning hard and loud as thick semen pumps out of his cock to coat Pike’s abs. Pike discovers he likes that, likes that Spock has marked him in some way. He continues rutting into Spock a few more times before he too cums deep within the Vulcan, running his hands up Spock’s back to soothe him as he does so. Now Spock slumps against Pike, soft and tired and quiet. Pike strokes his hair, ignoring the mess they made. A feeling of love and bubbling happiness makes him smile as he holds his Vulcan close.

Spock watches the stars as they move past the window over pike’s shoulder and wonders just how, in this vast universe, he found himself with the one man who made him feel love. Who held him so tenderly, who treated him with respect and never looked down on him for any flaws. How was he so lucky and how logical were the odds that he was here in this moment. He is emotionally and physically exhausted, and he closes his eyes as Pike strokes his hair and sleeps soundly for the first time in weeks, his breathing soft as he drifts among space. Held and cherished and loved.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by fan art and also headcanons with TendoCandy who is the one responsible for dragging me onto this Spock/Pike ship and now I love them even more.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated.


End file.
